Thursday, 15 January 2015

Searching for my happy place

happy place bed

I just wanted to ask... Are you happy? I mean truly, deeply, genuinely happy?


I'm not a grumpy guss, I swear. But having been through post-natal and ante-natal depression before I just know when something isn't right.


My husband asks me from time to time "why do you seem annoyed at something?" and at that point I know not to open that can of worms because he will not know what hit him. 
My usual response is "i'm exhausted." Or "it's been a rough day." Or "you try do what I did today and have a smile on your face after it all."

I mean I love being a mum but I think deep, deeeep down, I just miss myself. My level of dedication to the people in my life is high. If I see you need some help, someone to talk to or even a glass of water I will be there for you, unfortunately it may be at the cost of being there for myself. And possibly my children.
I think it's time for some mummy time. Its funny because I know exactly what i would do if i had a few hours to myself. I think all mothers have that 'escape plan' in their head.

What would I do?

Read a book over a quiet brunch with a coffee.
Get a wash, cut, blow dry.
Get a manicure and pedicure.
Go to the art gallery. 



...and that's it. It all seems so simple once typed out, buy for some reason trying to fit in an afternoon like that requires planning and coordinating of schedules. I think I'd be happy if I just got to do ONE thing on that list, kid free.

I don't think my happy place is an actual place, I think its a state of mind. A calm, serene vibe which I am on the hunt for. They say happiness is a choice. I'm sure some choices are easier to make than others. But I mean hey, if you find this so called happy place let me know (on twitter if you want #happyplace ).


Step 8,










3 comments:

  1. Hi Sarah,

    I am so glad that I'm not alone in feeling this way. The last couple of years have seen me give up EVERYTHING that made me me for my family and especially for these babies. As much as I love them and looking after them, I still can't help but yearn my old life - the freedom, the space, the creativity, the fun. Nowadays I feel so restricted and limited and often feel like my brain is dying from not being stimulated enough. I find myself trying to sneak in a few minutes here and there (that's where the make-up & beauty and the blog come in) that are just for me and what I want to do. Because I love looking after my family, but I feel so much happier doing it when I feel like I've achieved something for myself too.

    I don't know if that makes sense...but I totally understand what you mean and I agree - that happy place might just be a state of mind.

    Sal | UmmBaby

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    Replies
    1. Salams Sal!

      You are not alone, trust me! You are making perfect sense to me, i hear you! I have been feeling like this since I became a mother (a whole decade ago) and its taken me some time and some rethinking of my standards and expectations (for the sake of happiness and sanity). Sometimes we are so busy taking care of our family, we forget to take care of ourselves. Promise me you will put yourself on that LONG to do list you have and I will put myself on mine. Say it with me sister, "I am more important than the dirty dishes!" :D xx

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    2. OMG! I love you so much already!

      "I am more important than the dirty dishes!" I can't wait to see hubby's face when I go around chanting this ;)

      Wassalaam my darling xxx

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